1. www.ldsromances.com
2. www.ashleymadison.com
Let's start with the first one. LDSRomances.com is "the best dating site for LDS singles." I learned about it because a friend's younger sister met her husband on it, then got married in Salt Lake City three months later. I am not against meeting people online; I met my partner there over 12 years ago, and some of my best friends met not only online, but were on two different continents and ended up married here. What I find odd is that Mormons can't drink a Pepsi, have to tithe at 10%, wear the special underwear with things sown in them, walk through curtains getting groped, and a joyous bundle of other delightful religious requirements. However, they *can* go online and find the love of their latter day lives. Hey, I find it strange, but not as much as...
AshleyMadison.com. Let our trained staff help you find other like-minded adulterers in your area! God how I wish that the voice on my radio had actually said that. I nearly ran a red light the other night driving home from dinner when the ad for this service played on ESPNRadio. Their motto is "Life is short. Have an affair." The wallpaper on the website is a slightly blurred image of a woman in black dress with her hands on the waistband of a faceless, shirtless man's underwear as they peek out of his black dress pants, her face on his abs looking up lustfully. Gross. And as much as they want to be putting the O in orgasm for these busy working people who are probably misunderstood and really love their spouse/partner/significant other, all they are doing is putting the O in Oh my God and offensive.
Or so I thought. Ok, it's definitely sleazy. And in a time where relationships end as soon as they start at all levels, from marriages to the playground romance, we certainly don't need a website encouraging us to be unfaithful. But I'm sadly impressed by their honesty. No more "Honey, I'm looking up a recipe for pineapple upside-down cake" when you are secretly showing your breasts to your internet romance in Kuala Lumpur. No more pretending your "soldier at attention" is because your wife made meatloaf instead of because the guy in the next cubicle over emailed you Photoshopped naked pictures of Mark-Paul Gosselaar. Nope, none of that, just hey, you're on a business trip, let's screw. Or not, because apparently you can sign up for just phone sex, erotic email, or the whole nine yards. The website claims they've been on Dr. Phil and Larry King. Stunned, but not surprised.
It got my thinking in the shower, where I actually have a lot of my not bad ideas. Many years ago a friend of mine explained his approach to relationships, "Love is love, sex is sex, you get in trouble when you confuse the two." Now admittedly he was a man whore, but I find there is some truth in his words. Love and sex are two separate things; when they happen together they enhance one another immensely. But there are people I love that I never want to have sex with, and there are people I have had sex with that I didn't love. People may judge, but when did a want for one become a requirement for the other?
I'm not saying I believe in polygamy, I don't. Nor do I believe in adultery. I believe that if you are in a relationship with someone, then that's it until you two are no longer together. But I do wonder why we are so bent on choosing one person for the rest of your life to satisfy both. I would guess the answer is somewhere in religion, but that's another post. Humans do not have a good record for choosing something and sticking with it. We are impulsive beings. We repaint our walls, we replace our linens, we get new dishes just to spruce things up. We get a new hairstyle, buy a new car, try a new hobby all to make us feel better. But we are to pick one person and never change. Maybe the AshleyMadison crowd just knows more than we do. Maybe their relationships have hit the time when moving on is to be preferred over stagnation. Maybe that pairing has run its course. Maybe some people would be happier with someone new every decade or sooner. I don't know. Their site is still sleazy to endorse doing it on the side instead of facing it head on. But maybe this all casts into doubt how we view our relationships and how honest we are with ourselves.
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