A rose by any other name.

One important part of my research deals with taxonomy, the science of naming things and organizing them into a classification.  A interesting facet of taxonomy is etymology, or the meaning behind a scientific name.  Often these are Latin or Greek roots that have been adapted into English sounding words.  Sometimes the names are based on where the organism was first found, or are based on the name of the person finding them.  You can also name things for other people, a high honor in many circles.

Take for example the genus of snails I did my dissertation on, Lithasia.  Now that genus name actually tells you about the snail.  The root of the word is lithos, meaning rock.  The common name for this group is the rocksnails.  You find them in fast flowing water living on rocks.  Cool.  Now let's look at one of the species in the genus, Lithasia verrucosa.  The root verrucose means warty.  So, if you went looking for this snail, you should look for one that lives on rocks and has a warty shell.  And, surprisingly enough, it does.

I stress this same point with students in class, that if you can break down the roots of words, you can learn things easier, especially if it's a concept or a term you have not encountered before.  Some common pairings of suffix/prefix and meaning are: exo-out; endo-in; cyto-cell; chloro-green; rhodo-red; chryso-gold; rhino-nose; grandi-large; and so on.  It's really a cool study and once you get a few of the easy ones, it becomes a useful tool.

Human baby names have some basis in etymology as well.  Many names are based on these same roots, just in different usages and forms.  Some are translated from older bygone languages where a common root name has evolved into many recent names.  There are familial names, passed on from generation to generation.  There are names that denote some physical feature, like naming a boy with red hair Rusty.  Seasonal name exist too; have a girl in October and name her Autumn.

With that behind us, will someone please explain to me how we came to a point in our existence where the following are real, acceptable names?

* Shabeka

* Arcticia Oshun (yes, like Arctic Ocean)

* Yllanif (finally spelled backwards)

* Donkeydia

* Shoushounova

I embrace diversity in as many things as I can, but honestly people, WTF?  The data says that most of these names are possessed by African Americans.  How did their mothers come up with these combinations?  I attempted to take a Wiki trip and got nowhere fast.  Whatever the cause it can lead to some soured racial dynamic, especially when the "whites" call the "blacks" ignorant for "cursing" their children with unspeakable (if not unpronounceable) names.  Not that the caucasians haven't drummed up their own gems:

* Trigg

* Track

* Bristol

Those three alone get to join their sibs Piper and Willow in the Sarah Palin household (dontcha know).  We know of the Lear daughter Shanda.  And the birth records for every Kandy Kain, Ima Hogg, Sandy Beach, and Paige Turner are the things of (urban?) legend.  And who can forget the Zappa kids, Moon Unit and Dweezil?  Or Soleil Moon Frye?

Honestly, what are we trying to prove with these names?  Uniqueness is one thing, but we really ought to be showing some discretion.  Just because you can name your child Monkeywrench Chimpthrowingcrap Johnson doesn't mean you should.  And if you are going to be the tenth generation of Dikshit (a real last name in town), God bless you.  Here's hoping to see more Marys and Josephs before belong.

Footnote: Media mogul Oprah Winfrey's name is actually a mistake, according to some sources.  She was to be named Orpah, after the saint, but the midwife in Kosciusko, MS transposed the letters.

Wookin' fo' Nub

I blogged earlier about the difficulty of love.  This week my suspicions were confirmed by the following two websites:

1. www.ldsromances.com

2. www.ashleymadison.com

Let's start with the first one.  LDSRomances.com is "the best dating site for LDS singles."  I learned about it because a friend's younger sister met her husband on it, then got married in Salt Lake City three months later.  I am not against meeting people online; I met my partner there over 12 years ago, and some of my best friends met not only online, but were on two different continents and ended up married here.  What I find odd is that Mormons can't drink a Pepsi, have to tithe at 10%, wear the special underwear with things sown in them, walk through curtains getting groped, and a joyous bundle of other delightful religious requirements.  However, they *can* go online and find the love of their latter day lives.  Hey, I find it strange, but not as much as...

AshleyMadison.com.  Let our trained staff help you find other like-minded adulterers in your area!  God how I wish that the voice on my radio had actually said that.  I nearly ran a red light the other night driving home from dinner when the ad for this service played on ESPNRadio.  Their motto is "Life is short.  Have an affair."  The wallpaper on the website is a slightly blurred image of a woman in black dress with her hands on the waistband of a faceless, shirtless man's underwear as they peek out of his black dress pants, her face on his abs looking up lustfully.  Gross.  And as much as they want to be putting the O in orgasm for these busy working people who are probably misunderstood and really love their spouse/partner/significant other, all they are doing is putting the O in Oh my God and offensive.

Or so I thought.  Ok, it's definitely sleazy.  And in a time where relationships end as soon as they start at all levels, from marriages to the playground romance, we certainly don't need a website encouraging us to be unfaithful.  But I'm sadly impressed by their honesty.  No more "Honey, I'm looking up a recipe for pineapple upside-down cake" when you are secretly showing your breasts to your internet romance in Kuala Lumpur.  No more pretending your "soldier at attention" is because your wife made meatloaf instead of because the guy in the next cubicle over emailed you Photoshopped naked pictures of Mark-Paul Gosselaar.  Nope, none of that, just hey, you're on a business trip, let's screw.  Or not, because apparently you can sign up for just phone sex, erotic email, or the whole nine yards.  The website claims they've been on Dr. Phil and Larry King.  Stunned, but not surprised.

It got my thinking in the shower, where I actually have a lot of my not bad ideas.  Many years ago a friend of mine explained his approach to relationships, "Love is love, sex is sex, you get in trouble when you confuse the two."  Now admittedly he was a man whore, but I find there is some truth in his words.  Love and sex are two separate things; when they happen together they enhance one another immensely.  But there are people I love that I never want to have sex with, and there are people I have had sex with that I didn't love.  People may judge, but when did a want for one become a requirement for the other?

I'm not saying I believe in polygamy, I don't.  Nor do I believe in adultery.  I believe that if you are in a relationship with someone, then that's it until you two are no longer together.  But I do wonder why we are so bent on choosing one person for the rest of your life to satisfy both.  I would guess the answer is somewhere in religion, but that's another post.  Humans do not have a good record for choosing something and sticking with it.  We are impulsive beings.  We repaint our walls, we replace our linens, we get new dishes just to spruce things up.  We get a new hairstyle, buy a new car, try a new hobby all to make us feel better.  But we are to pick one person and never change.  Maybe the AshleyMadison crowd just knows more than we do.  Maybe their relationships have hit the time when moving on is to be preferred over stagnation.  Maybe that pairing has run its course.  Maybe some people would be happier with someone new every decade or sooner.  I don't know.  Their site is still sleazy to endorse doing it on the side instead of facing it head on.  But maybe this all casts into doubt how we view our relationships and how honest we are with ourselves.